Oh that devil inside of me. Do you make yourself known? When the switch flips south and light exits the room you attack my thoughts without mercy. Your resolve and will is destructive. You drive your ambitions deep within my soul. And there I am, the monster within playing around within me like a wrecking ball. You exist in all of my doubt about life and tear me apart the more that I try to run from you.
But I'll fight no longer, only to eagerly embrace your presence. Does this bemuse you? Does this make you weep at the thought of the grip you once had that exists no longer? You held onto me so powerful and so tight due to my disability to see that the battle increased your strength. Like quicksand I sunk the more that I moved. But like I claimed before, I embrace the darkness now.
Things have changed. I'll see now that darkness can deliver light. There isn't any fear in this heart anymore in regards to you showing up. Why? I know you are here…right here within me. Not walled out from me any more. Not pushed away. Just here with me. Present. Truly present.
I am finally aware of what you now are and who you turned me into. I am not attempting to fool any person anymore by showing them a smile on my face. No, I will just be myself. So I tip my cap to you to all of the times you cut me down. Now, let’s take a walk and work this thing out. I'd like to hear what you say about all the years of the past. How proud are you? How much fun did you have? Are you happy with your achievements? Maybe… I will be able to even clap to your success?
But we are moving on and this is the birth of a long relationship. It’s going to be difficult, but I’m going to start chatting with you for the 1st time. But now, my choices are based primarily on light. It’s time to start living my life and make the best calls I am able to. But I’m aware that I must consult with you…oh harsh devil inside. You can show me an untraveled path that’s worth exploring in of its own. You can show me places I have always been afraid to go. But to ignore you further would be out of stupidity. Foolishness. Fear.
So let’s go for a walk. I'd like to hear what you have got to say.
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement a website dedicated to spreading encouraging words to everyone who visits and giving them a reason to continue chasing after their dreams. If you are stuck in a rough place, perhaps dealing with that devil within right now, please read these quotes about depression. They will help. A lot.